Category Archives: Journal

Self Control/Self Discipline

Sometimes I feel like we are all subliminally taught to give in. If you want it you should do it, buy it, indulge in it, etc. 

But rarely are we taught to say no. To control our urges. That we can’t (or shouldn’t) do whatever you want to do. 

Today I was leaving the gym and I wanted, so desperately, to get Thai boba tea from a place down the road. 

I could’ve gotten it and I could’ve afforded it but I wanted to stick to a budget I had set for myself last week. 

Now, though I am always down for a #TreatYoSelf moment, I had to remind myself that there is absolutely nothing wrong with telling yourself no. There is nothing wrong with disciplining yourself. 

I didn’t get the tea. 

For once, I said no to myself. 

But it made me think, why was this so hard? In what other areas of my life do I just give in? 

How can I further discipline myself? 

How can I gain self control? 

Be You! All The Time!

On 3/19/17 I had the opportunity to go to Hip Hop & Breakfast. Its a dope get together that dancer/choreographer Ian Eastwood hosts at his home that boasts food, fun, and dance. After we had eaten and conversed, we out to the garage to dance.


As some of you may know, I am a classically trained dancer whose expertise (and heart) is in contemporary and modern dance. So its not like I was too out of place. But “uh-oh” was all I could think. I had brought sweatpants to change into just in case dancing was involved but I had not mentally prepared myself to dance. Sometimes I have to do that when I dance places. I constantly have to remind myself that I love to dance, that I know what I’m doing, etc. But today was different. I was in a space with absolutely INCREDIBLE movers. I was a contemporary dancer at an event called Hip Hop & Breakfast.


I was psyching myself out before I had  the chance to do anything. I was letting myself get insecure about something that I had no business being insecure about. But I eventually got over it.


Songs were playing. People were dancing. KILLING IT might I add. I watched people destroy beats, learn music as they danced. Though I was inspired, I got more and more scared by the minute. But I was brave. When I heard a song that I connected with, I got out there and moved.

It was almost like I came alive. I got lost in the music. I was moving was had never moved before. I was letting the music inform my body. I was dancing. It felt amazing. I was so proud. But imagine if I had let fear stop me from stepping out and moving?

Bravery is when you step out and do something despite fear. Don’t always think about the outcome, consider the process.

I want someone to know that sometimes, it is impossible to kill all of the negative thoughts in your head. But when you step out and be brave despite fear and negativity, you build inner strength.

I encourage everyone to step out and like Nike said, JUST DO IT!

Below is some footage from my dancing at the get together! Enjoy!





Sometimes I feel like I can understand how Eve felt. The serpent told her all these things about the forbidden fruit and she knew they weren’t true but she couldn’t help but consider the possibility. 

Isn’t that how we all have felt sometimes? 

A thought enters our minds. Something that isn’t at all true. But we entertain it and we are paralyzed by the possibility that the false thought could be true. 

That’s been me lately. 

I have been so paralyzed by the possibility that the thoughts and ideas that I know are the polar opposite of the truth may have some validity. 

You should never let fear paralyze you ESPECIALLY fears not based in any truth. 

Today I told myself to push past all of my doubts and see through to the truth. 

I can do WHATEVER it is I put my mind to. 

….and so can you! 

Fiction or Film?

This past weekend, me and my brother took my mom out to the movies for Mothers Day to see Captain America: Civil War. My mom is dope. She was almost as excited as me to see the film. After the film had ended and we were walking out of the movie theater and she was going on and on about how she loved it. But me? I wasn’t so sure.

Almost immediately after Marvel had announced that their cinematic universe was headed in the Civil War direction, I had begun doing as much research as I possibly could about that time in Marvel comic book history. I read several summaries and even bought the official Civil War novel that basically combined all of the main ideas of the different Civil War comics together to make one comprehensive story. I loved every minute of it.

I knew my stuff.

So going into the movie theater that day, I was excited to see the stories that I had thoroughly enjoyed come to life on screen. That, however, didn’t happen exactly how I had hoped. There were some major differences in the comics/novel and the film. Though I enjoyed the film, I feel like my ultimate opinion of it is based off of the comparison I continue to make between the film and the comics. I can’t help but think about how I would view the film differently if I hadn’t read and researched.

Rich Santos wrote an article for the Barnes and Nobles blog that lists 6 reasons why movie adaptions are not as good as the books in which they derive (read it here). One of them being that the movies are almost never how we pictured the book to be. This hit the nail on the head for me. I feel this way with almost the entire Hunger Games series (with the exception of Catching Fire) and  the Maze Runner series times a billion as well. In the article, Santos says that “once a filmmaker decides upon settings and characters, we’re limited to seeing those characters and settings through their eyes”. I agree. Movie adaptions pretty much become the book as the filmmaker sees it. They have a different lens and imagination than their viewers. But sometimes filmmakers “get it right”. The Harry Potter series is an example of that.

I do, however, rest a little easier knowing that the film adaption of the Marvel comic’s Civil War era was adapted to connect and introduce the next phase of Marvel movies and characters to the established ones. They basically took the idea of Civil War and adapted it to fit the cinematic universe. Which I think they did tastefully. But I wanted the Marvel comics version. Do reading the books attached to movie adaptions taint our opinions of a film? Can we separate how “good” a film is from its ability to stay true to the story from which it came? The world may never know.


Bullet Journaling

I was on tumblr recently and I saw a really cool organizational journaling method called bullet journaling.

I have a serious problem with organization but hopefully this new method will help me out a bit!

To learn more about it click here

I’ll be trying it out starting January 1st. I’ll keep you all updated!

Here are some photos I’ve found: